Day whatever...

Hi everyone, in my excitement I forgot to jump on to blog and let you know that as of 1 week I have lost 3 point something or other pounds. Woohoo.  In celebration I ran out and ate a custard cream pie!!! Just kidding, I only ate 3 pieces. Hmmmmm....

I have not been hanging out with Sean-o and his hot bods for the last 3 days as we have been travelling the world (that is my excuse and I am sticking to it!!!). We to New York State, Vermont and New Hampshire anyway. I gave Shano very specific instructions for this trip... "show me the leaves that change in fall Oh Great One" and this is where we went. Let me tell you he provided me with EXACTLY what I wanted and that is so rare let me tell you. Hee hee.

It is so gorgeous that I could simply pack my little bags and move permanently to Vermont. It is beautiful and filled with yummy food and super friendly people. I would have stayed longer if Shano hadn't driven like a bloody Nascar driver around the state. If he had bothered to slow down for a moment I may even have thrown myself out of the car in an effort to stay, but alas the speedo didn't go lower that 40 miles and hour. Even that was a stretch for me.

If you have followed our previous trip across the USA you would have picked up on the fact that Shano and I have very different travel styles. I like to take my time and peruse each town whilst Shano thinks that the quality of travel is in the QUANTITY of states covered. Ha. I am sure we will survive as we have thus far.

This is a trip I recommend to everyone, as the turning leaves are incredible and as long as you don't get rain that washes the leaves right off the trees, you will be impressed.  Even the Shano was impressed and we all know how hard it is to impress him!!!!

Oh Ps, we saw a lot of signs in Vermont that said "Moose Crossing". Disappointing as it was we only saw one and she was wearing bike pants and a very small college jersey........

xxxxx

My camera has been revived!!!

Yay my camera is finally working so I am just going to download a few photos that I have taken.  xxxx

 Grace relaxing at the Waldorf Astoria...

 A TV in the mirror? No way....

 Grace and I at Time Square.

 Well...

 Us at the best little Italian restaurant in the world.

 $2000 later........

 Lego land at FAO Swartz toy store. And yes we dance on the BIG piano....

 Groodle getting ready for a ride. National Velvet here we come.

A pinch and a punch for the first of the month... October!

Ok so as a reward for ignoring my boom bah body when it screamed to me today "Don't do it Karli! Sean doesn't really love you so just stay in bed. Go on!!!!!", I decided to put up some of my Halloween decorations. These were of course chosen by Grace. I only had to give her a stern NO when she desperately wanted to purchase the half eaten zombie man that crawls around your front yard. An i bloody meant no - I would have nightmares that I would wake up in the middle of the night and Zombie Man would be at the end of my bed. Oh dear God I am so sleeping with one eye open tonight as ZMan might have followed us home!!!! Anyway, in otherwise true Team USA form we have begun to demonise our front yard.  Here are some photos to give you an idea of Grace's sense of style....

Day 3 - die Tonya die

Woohoo, I am all hyped up after a session with Seano and his hot abbed friends. You know I think that I too have a six pack tummy - I just lack that plastic thingy that holds it all together!!!!  Its true.  Today we did a bit of "Hip Hop Abs" and finally I beat that bitch called Tonya who did 78 Suicide Jumps when I did 3! Today Tonya just couldn't shake her groove thang like I could. I did 10 more hip shakes than her.  Of course it is probably because when I do the hip shakes I am actually counting the ones that just keep going by themselves after I have actually stopped - I go 1, 2, 3, 4 stop and my hips continue 5, 6, 7, 8.....stop. Is that cheating? Tonya, you are going down- that's all I'm saying!!!!!

The Walmart State of Mind....

Oh for the sweet love of God, I just saw a lady at Walmart who was proudly wearing a size 6 pair of jeans on her size 24 body. Perhaps all this weight loss talk is a complete waste of time  - perhaps I should just PRETEND to be skinny like Miss Muffin Top Walmart and see where that gets me. Perhaps thinness is just a state of mind. Wait.... I am just going to run upstairs and try and pop on on my old skinny jeans and see how I feel........

.......Nope, I couldn't breathe and felt the circulation in my legs being cut off. Perhaps, just perhaps, I have just discovered the Walmart State of Mind! Is this good or bad? Miss Muffin Top Walmart would vote that this is a good thing. For all of us that had to witness her bending over to pick up her 24 pack of Coke, we vote BAD!!!!!!!

Just a thought...

Day 2 - after 3 days in bed......

Yay, the Honey badger is back! After being hidden in a dark room for the last  3 days with a stinking  migraine I am back and ready to be completely ruined by good old Sean-o! I suspect that my body basically gave me the bird after that last session and went into shutdown mode BUT the honey badger does care........ See you after the next horrid workout.

Day 1 of the HB Challenge

Day 1.  OK, already I want to tell "Sean" from Insanity to shove his pushups where the sun doesn't shine!  BUT... I still completed my first day which was a fitness test full of crazy crap like "Suicide Jumps", "Push Up Jacks" and "Switch Kicks". It sounds like I am learning to be a Ninja.  Cool! Well when I was Ninja-ed out I discovered something very interesting, yet not surprising, about myself - I am actually more unfit than Jabba the Hut having a veg out session. Alas it is true.

Well I survived the very first day and I can start tomorrow from the bottom and work my way up. The very, very, very bottom. Oh God I am sure I can see the top to Skinnyville if I squint my eyes!!!!

See you tomorrow for Day 2.  Oh dear God!!!!

Show us your..... Knockers???

Team USA strikes again.  When Grace proudly marched up to me in Target and asked if she could have these I absolutely killed myself laughing.  "Darling" I said, "considering you are a daughter of mine, you will certainly be blessed with these soon enough. In the meantime shall I just put them in your hair.........?".   In true Karli style it all about the Boobs!  Just for the record, Team Aussie call them Bobbles/Baubles. xxxx

The Honey Badger Challenge

Just a big fat (pardon the pun) piece of advice: Never ever try to lose weight when you are in a country that deals in pounds. When you finally drag your oversize butt on to the undersized scales and you are greeted with a whopping 40 million POUNDS.........., well it just makes you feel ..... well huge!  Convert in to kilos and you suddenly drop weight like you wouldn't believe. Ta da, just like that I have figured out the secret of eternal weight loss.

On that note, after parking my enormous butt on the couch surfing the 40 million channels on pay TV, I found myself enthralled by a fitness program called Insanity. That's right people, you heard it first - I was watching a fitness program!!! After a whole hour of being mesmorised while 10 or so super hot, cut bodies paraded their pecks, glutes, abs (and whatever the hell that muscle is that is that you always see Calvin Kline models with, whilst wearing undies or jeans) I decided it was time. Time to hoik my flabby, uncut, hail damaged body, streaked with a myriad of "flames of love" (stretch marks) off the couch and into the world of Insanity!!!!!  I too can prance around in a sports bra and bike pants without the fear of a camel toe/moose knuckle rearing its ugly head and screaming "Woooohoooo" after completing 50 or 60 one armed pushups.  It's time to release the skinny bitch within and hit the gym.

Ok folks so here is the plan. The Insanity program has a challenge that goes for 60 days. They say that they can turn you from a fat slob into a beach babe in just 60 days. Sooooooo, I am going to do the 60 day challenge and tell you if it really works. I have renamed the challenge "The Honey Badger Challenge". Those of you who know the Honey Badger will know why.  Those of you who don't, go to this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

I will blog everyday and tell you how I am going and how much it sucks a row of hairy bottoms. I will post scary photos, but none in true fatty-fatty-boom-bah style with my guts hanging out over my way too tight bike pants.  Deal?!

As an added incentive, Shano has agreed that if I can make it to my goal weight of "Totally Hot Babe" he will give up smoking. And man, who doesn't want to see if Shano can survive without his daily intake of pure poison!!!!

Alright then it's on..... tomorrow will be Day 1 of the challenge and I will report back to you tomorrow.   If I don't report back then I might still be on the floor of the basement, having died from a massive heart attack, so perhaps someone could let Shano know.

Goodbye Fatty Fatty Boom Bah Karli and Hello Hottie Hottie Honey Badger!

The Fat Bangs

Ok, I know it has taken me a few days to get this one happening but I have been out and about in true Karli style and simply paid it off.  I promise that won't happen again.  Hee hee.

Now I would like to have a chat about how Team Aussie and Team USA are two countries separated by a common language (thanks Mrs C).

For example, the other day I went to the hairdresser with a red hot rocking style in mind and I say to my fabulous hairdresser "I think it's time for a big fringe".  Now firstly she looks at me with a Team USA smile but also like I am a complete idiot and then hands me a hair magazine and asks me to point!  What the? Eventually after pointing and flicking, many many hand gestures and a teeny bit of translation she announces "Oh you want fat bangs!" ????

But it doesn't stop there. I was at a dinner party a couple of weeks ago when someone asks me in the middle of a perfectly civilised conversation about baseball, "Karli, who do you root for?"  After spraying Team USA with a mouthful of Yellowtail  (a rather disgusting Team Aussie wine with a giant kangaroo printed on the front - wine of choice over here) and thinking how I had received a very stern pep talk from Shano about not being tooooooo over personal and crass,  I reply rather sheepishly, "Well, usually my husband - why are you offering?"  Awkward!!!

Also, I simply can't even begin to express my horror when someone told me they "fell on their fanny and now it was throbbing", the other day at another get together!  And here I was feeling anxious about my inevitable Team Aussie ability to shame anyone and everyone in the room with a simple story about vomit.  I had no idea I was going to fit in so easily - apparently I am amongst kindred spirits!!!

Soooo, if any of you have any stories or advice, or perhaps a simple "heads up", on what other kind of awkward yet amusing scenarios I might encounter I would very much appreciate it.

Shano is sitting behind me rolling his eyes and sighing his "Oh Crap" sigh as I type and I as I give him the bird in return, I would like to also ask your opinion on something....

.....is it too extravagant to buy a a BMW Roadster simply because they are sooo cheap over here or should I stick with a sensible car so it won't be mistaken as being too obnoxious and therefore rammed with a trolley in the Walmart carpark?  Thoughts.

xxxx

Let's start at the beginning!

Hi everyone.  If you enjoyed the Gabriel's crazy, yet sensational, trip across the USA in Big Bertha, I hope you will now follow my personal, yet hilarious journey through our year in Carlisle, Pennsylvania.

I can't promise you accurate travel details or historic information but I CAN promise you side splitting stories with a pinch of rudeness and a smidge of ridiculousness.

I really hope you will read and post to your hearts content.  Dear God, don't make me do this on my own.

Talk soon! xxxxx

Oh for those of you who need to catch up,  check out my last blog "gabrielsinamotorhome.blogspot.com".  You might need to recap in order to keep up - or perhaps just prepare you for what is to follow....

xxx