Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The Honey Badger Challenge

Just a big fat (pardon the pun) piece of advice: Never ever try to lose weight when you are in a country that deals in pounds. When you finally drag your oversize butt on to the undersized scales and you are greeted with a whopping 40 million POUNDS.........., well it just makes you feel ..... well huge!  Convert in to kilos and you suddenly drop weight like you wouldn't believe. Ta da, just like that I have figured out the secret of eternal weight loss.

On that note, after parking my enormous butt on the couch surfing the 40 million channels on pay TV, I found myself enthralled by a fitness program called Insanity. That's right people, you heard it first - I was watching a fitness program!!! After a whole hour of being mesmorised while 10 or so super hot, cut bodies paraded their pecks, glutes, abs (and whatever the hell that muscle is that is that you always see Calvin Kline models with, whilst wearing undies or jeans) I decided it was time. Time to hoik my flabby, uncut, hail damaged body, streaked with a myriad of "flames of love" (stretch marks) off the couch and into the world of Insanity!!!!!  I too can prance around in a sports bra and bike pants without the fear of a camel toe/moose knuckle rearing its ugly head and screaming "Woooohoooo" after completing 50 or 60 one armed pushups.  It's time to release the skinny bitch within and hit the gym.

Ok folks so here is the plan. The Insanity program has a challenge that goes for 60 days. They say that they can turn you from a fat slob into a beach babe in just 60 days. Sooooooo, I am going to do the 60 day challenge and tell you if it really works. I have renamed the challenge "The Honey Badger Challenge". Those of you who know the Honey Badger will know why.  Those of you who don't, go to this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

I will blog everyday and tell you how I am going and how much it sucks a row of hairy bottoms. I will post scary photos, but none in true fatty-fatty-boom-bah style with my guts hanging out over my way too tight bike pants.  Deal?!

As an added incentive, Shano has agreed that if I can make it to my goal weight of "Totally Hot Babe" he will give up smoking. And man, who doesn't want to see if Shano can survive without his daily intake of pure poison!!!!

Alright then it's on..... tomorrow will be Day 1 of the challenge and I will report back to you tomorrow.   If I don't report back then I might still be on the floor of the basement, having died from a massive heart attack, so perhaps someone could let Shano know.

Goodbye Fatty Fatty Boom Bah Karli and Hello Hottie Hottie Honey Badger!

1 comment:

  1. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAA at that youtube link!!!
    The honey bagder doesnt care.. he's hungry BWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAA look at that shit!
    I seriously nearly peed Kar Kar!

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